Insult to Injury
Wilie's grave has been disturbed. Not only disturbed, completely dug up and I am sure animals have taken him out of there to tear him up. I really, really wanted to make sure he rested peacefully in that nice spot. The lilies I'd planted were strewn all about the field, the cardboard box we buried him in was torn up, scraps everywhere, his headstone was 10 inches down, the grave was completely dug out....Leonardo kept trying to tell me, yes, yes, I'm sure he's still there, but I know he's not.
Something (dog/animal) dug him up and took him out and went to tear him up! I know the volume of the dirt we dug up and how it filled the grave and how even if you took Willie out and put the dirt back it would be bigger and looser, and the dirt we scooped back in barely even came to ground level. Willie isn't in there anymore! I REALLY wanted that physical part of him to stay--skin and bones!
We were so distraught we forgot to cover the grave in stones, initally. It's covered now but what of it? Lock the barn door after the horse is gone. I replanted the lillies too, I found them strewn out and about the field. I guess it is now a Willie Memorial but I liked the idea better of visiting his own little bones. I really wanted a special sacred spot for my own little doggie.
I knew it was a bad omen when Willie himself came home with a dog skull he'd found somewhere and treated (and chewed it up) as if it were his own personal doggie cannibal crown jewels.
I was just beginning to get a grip on dealing with his death and remembering him fondly in a happy (not all tears and snot) kind of way and now this. This sends me back to major tears and snot.
The kitties are still happy though, and trying to show the love (for me, certainly not for Willie, but they ARE quite happy and animated--and the "Big Guy," Elway, is still hanging around, a huge help on that ragged heart problem).
He ALWAYS wants to go out at night--even if he comes in to escape the thunder (we're in our afternoon thunder showers now,) but looks like tonight he's staying. He got up and nudged me, that's usually the signal to let him out for the night. I took him to the front door, opened it, stood there....and stood there...and stood there. And to my surprise, he turned around, came back in and planted himself right here by my right foot! I can't say I don't like it!
We can only hope tomorrow will be better, or at the very least, count on it being different from today.
So my friends. Life is a change train that has no brakes and wouldn't fucking stop if it did. Grab the ring when you see it. Love with all your heart. Life's not a carousel and when the last dance is done, it's done. Make this one count.
ps. why is it murder with people and not with animals? Something wrong with that, I think Not like I want to put anyone in jail. How about some speed bumps to slow these fools down?
Witqueen (2008-07-06)
I'm sorry for your loss.
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